Will I Ever..

Gracie is a fine little girl. She has the true sign of prodigy, or an indigo. She is some cheerful little girl, and terribly curious about everything, loves puzzle, likes to explore, always wanting something fun to do. She has grown bigger and a bit taller, about 4 years old now. I did not see her growing up that much because I am away from home since she was born. I managed to see her as an infant, and see her sometimes when I am home for short break from study.

About a year ago, during one of my holiday at home, we went to kampung house, sort of name we identify my dads house in kampung. My wife was away in the states for some work, and I was at home for a little while. I thought that kampung house was the best for Achel and Gracie, the cousins was there and maybe get them to socialize a bit. We were there for about two weeks plus.Over one weekdays, I had to attend a conference somewhere and thus I let them stay with the nanny in kampung house. While away, I called kampung house and I was told that Gracie was weak, not eating, and constantly vomiting. My mom told me that Gracie was ok after some medicine she was forced to drink with her milk. But later when I called again, she was weak, very weak, not moving. After the conference, I went to kampung to see how she was doing. I was so sad, and so worried because Gracie was truly so weak. Very unlike when she is cheerful; I often say hi-five and we hi-five; she is constantly on the prowl and making a mess, walking about all places. That day, she was so weak. My heart sank  when I see her unable to even lift her hand for hi-five. She tried so hard to lift her hands, sadly she can only manage to make -a super tiny- wiggle her little fingers. So I took her hand and hi-five with a smile even though my heart is terribly worried.

I decided that going back to white house is the best move. So we went back. When we reach home, Gracie was alert, but still very weak. I was hoping that probably it is nothing to worry, maybe some tooth is sprouting, or something. But I was also worried that maybe some dengue or malaria get into her system. Few days, she was relying on panadol for kids to reduce her temperature. She was so weak, and not eating. My desperate act, I sit by her and giving her a tiny chip of  biscuit that I found on the table.She hold the cookies, too weak to get it to her mouth, but she really push herself to have a bite, but as soon as she swallowed it, she vomits. So I let her be, and some moment later, I gave her another bite. The nanny gave her some fish soup and she seems to take that, but vomits again after several gulp. She was lying on the mattress helpless, often I sat beside her or take a nap. I know that she was badly wanting to roam around the house just like she used to do all day, but that days, she was helpless. Looking ant her like that, I cant stop blaming kampung house or the nanny for not looking after her properly.

It was the time that I had to go back to Lancaster, and Gracie was still very weak. I was so worried that something bad will happen to her, let alone loosing her. My emotion was beyond expression. And I was in dilemma, because I had to fly back, but I know there I had to be there for Gracie, and if I miss my flight, I will not have any money to but another one-way ticket. I resorted to staying back for a few more days and be there for Gracie, and I managed to get another ticket through my wife's credit card.

Eventually, Gracie recovered very slowly, and all the time when she was ill, she was never out of smile. I don't  know if she was in pain or otherwise, she always throw a small smile when I was with her. I tried hard to cheer her up just like what we have always used to do, just that this time, she only smile. Gracie recovered very slowly, her voice was heard though very faint, she hi-five, and eating something without vomiting it out again. Eventually, tough still weak, but she tried hard to move about. Now, Gracie is fit as ever.

I am thankful that nothing worst had happened. I am glad that I decided to stay back that day even though I was broke to buy another ticket. Anything can happen in the future, and I decide to be there for Achel and Gracie.