Friday, 30 January 2009

Life Long Problem

It is my lifelong obsession to make people around be, particularly my clique, know what I know. Its like an illness. I am obsessed with teaching and telling others the trick and trade I have. Its not the kind of teaching as teacher or lecturer. Those are boring job. They don't teach according to what their heart tells them to teach. They are a scripted.

This obsession grew stronger when I was about mid teen, perhaps 13 onwards. Equally, my hunger for knowledge grew stronger. I wanted to know many things. My favorite areas of reading are Inventions, Physics, Astronomy, Biology, Chemistry, Mathematics, Poetry, Literature,... I read my elder brother's Macbeth when I was 11. Learn English from black and white TV. I was so fascinated with engine, I opened my dad's rice mill's engine. Did experiment that nearly killed me. Obsession and curiosity overwhelmed me so much until I lost my logic sometimes. I saw an exposed electric mains wire one day, and decided to touch one of the wire. So I touched them. It was the greatest shock in my life, that I still freak out when comes to electricity.

When I was about 10, I got hold of a magnifying glass. So interesting piece of object. I plotted one of Orion's star trajectory by tracing the movement of the star focused on a white paper through the magnifying glass. Pretty interesting curiosity.

But my love for mathematics is really pushed my obsession to teach and share my maths skills with my close cliques who are younger than me. I remember stealing chalks, colored chalks from school and bring it home. There was a small 'class' with a small plywood where I teach maths skills. I wonder if any of my 'students' still uses that skill today.

I was also obsessed with knowing all things. And I found out that I can't master any one of them. Up to just knowing them. I can go deep if I wanted too, but normally I give up when I know it. I wanted to do so many. I have so many things to do until I feel that I have so less time. I can't manage my time. Managing time is something bad for me because I don't like to feel like being 'trapped'. I want to do thing as I please. I have many things to do. My head is full of to do list. I don't know where to begin.

I am frustrated most of the time because I don't feel being understood. No one will ever agrees if I say that I thrive when I am alone. Some said messy desk mean messy head. That is certainly true for my case.

I wish I am still a kid. I have all my attention for my self. I still want to know all things though, and want to to many things. I wonder if I am obsessed with problem or I have problem with obsession. Whatever it is, it is a problem.

Saturday, 24 January 2009

.....

ow no, I am not thinking!!!!!!

Friday, 23 January 2009

I am on iTouch

I am on iTouch.

Tuesday, 20 January 2009

'right' and 'wrong'

I thought that I am smart and genius. Probably yes, probably not. The thing is, I have my own opinion on everything. Not quite sure if I am right or wrong. I defend my opinion, and I am ready to engage in a very long argument.

I realized, other people do have their opinion too. But unlike me, some don't realize that their opinion might be right or wrong. Their opinion are 'right' only and never 'wrong'.

I realized, some people can't differentiate between philosophy and reality. For example, what I wrote here are merely philosophical and have no relation to any physical entity whatsoever. Some people don't see it that way. hey see it as 'that's what I mean'. Thus, they starts to draw conclusion which categorize me as 'wrong' and them as 'right' or me as 'right' and them as 'wrong'. In the first place, none of the 'right' and 'wrong' has anything to do with philosophical thought.

I realized that opinion is always right to the owner of the opinion. Some people force others to accept their opinion. They just thought that they are always right. Well, I say they are a bunch of people that don't think right. They are just some pain in the ass.

I wonder when natural selection will eliminate these species. The world probably better off without them.

Saturday, 17 January 2009

Achel & Gracie

My two daughter was still asleep when I left house and start my very long journey to Lancaster University. However, I kept telling Achel that I am off to a very far away land to study. Often she said 'yea yea, I know'.

One evening, she said mumblingly that she wanted mamma and daddy. We are about to go out go find some stuffs for her to bring to school the next day. I was pretty sad.

Achel's 'book' is still in the house in Lancaster. I want to scan them and upload it on the web.

Monday, 12 January 2009

Thank God, Eve Munch The Apple

If i tell people that i totally agree with what Eve had done last time, eating that fruit from the forbidden tree... i think people think that i am mad or crazy, or perhaps a psycho or something.

Well, i say I agree. I totally agree with what Eve had done. Thank god she eat the fruit. Thank god Adam eat them too. For that, we have the knowledge like god himself. we know many things. we know science, we know technology, we know commerce, we know how to be good, we know how to be bad...

Imagine for a second, how we might be look like before eve had the fruit, and after eve had the fruit. I imagine, before eve had the fruit, human are darn stupid, no knowledge at all. what on earth are the things that we can do without knowledge? can somebody think of any? even to worship the creator requires some kind of knowledge. how on earth adam and eve gonna take care of the animals, the plants, the birds, without knowledge?

But thank god, they ate the fruit, and we are all knowledgeable. I don't think computers will ever existed if eve did not ate the fruit.

Sunday, 11 January 2009

The End of World

Out of boredom, I asked some church guy about some boring but interesting topics. Just wanted to hear his opinion about it. One of the topic was, whats gonna happen to the world during that 'end' of the world.

Well, he started with some random quotes from the bible about the picture-ization of the events during the 'end' of world. He said that there gonna be a war like never before. And he picked what is happening at the middle east right now. War has started, and he linked that to what the bible said. He mentioned about his discussion with other mates, probably in his theology class perhaps, about this nation and that nation gonna team up and this nation gonna be smacked down, and whole lotta stuffs.

Surprisingly, he never mentioned about the ongoing technological advancement that human race is creating. not a single word. only wars he mentioned. what a crap. all believers only wait for war to destroy the whole earth? i don't believe it.

I just can't believe how narrow minded human are sometimes. Looking at one direction, and never look around. I wonder what science and technology mean to them. Worst some more, they tell people what 'small things' that they know. Have they ever read the news. Have they ever watched Discovery Channel, National Geographics, or read history book in the Library? None. How can somebody tell people something if he does not know anything?

Unbelievable.

I reckon that there is no 'end' of the world. None. Just a continuous rebirth of ideas and technological advancement.

Tuesday, 6 January 2009

Random Thought

Human often turn to something for help when they hit a problem. Some turn to god almighty. Some turn to Johnny Walker. Some hid themselves in smoke. I have no problem with that. However, those problem solving approach do make me think for a bit.

Those who believes in god almighty tend to turn to god almighty in a slightest problem encountered. I wonder why. Common sense is, god almighty have already provided all the tools to human to solve any kind of problems of any kind of magnitude. Just like a builder who build a gigantic skyscraper, building problem always solved because there is always a tool at the right problem at the right time. Builder who give in to the problem is a builder who are lazy bastard, or perhaps very not smart for he can't find or make or improvise a tool.

God almighty has given us all the tools we need to go through life. Probably because he don't want to be bothered by millions of people all the time. The only problem is human fails to recognize the use of all the tools an individual has got. Imagine, we are to go for a very long drive. So we hop into our beautiful car and drive away. In the middle of nowhere, our car stopped and won't start. What do we do? Surely if we believe in god almighty, we definitely ask for help, particularly if its nearly sunset. So the next car that pass by and stop for help will definitely considered the help sent by god almighty. Well, god almighty has already gave us a better brain than any smart monkey, surely there is a purpose for it. Surely one of the purpose is to make us realize what mishaps may happen if we don't get our car checked.

I don't think god almighty and the evil devil got anything to do with all the good things and all the bad things that had happened in my life. If there is good things or if there is bad things, it probably me who realize how to use the tools given to me, or I missed to realize how to use the tools that I have when mishaps comes.

What tools do I have? My Lovely Brain!